Monday, April 8, 2013

Day 0 - The Rules


Day: 0
Vyvanse: 100mg

I'm sorry to a lot of people.

  • Around 7 months or so ago, I began taking vyvanse. 
  • It's an amazing drug that lets me get work done. 
  • After a few weeks of taking it I had a lot of work that I needed to do that day. 
  • I took two.
  • Ever since then I've been abusing my medication, buying more from other people, and destroying my life. 
  • It wasn't that bad at first but then I got to the point that started around a week or two ago. 
  • My tolerance had gotten to the point where I would need/take anywhere from 5-8 pills a day. 
  • At 50mg (my current dosage) That is 250 - 400mg a day. 
  • You shouldn't be prescribed more than 70mg ever. 
  • I found that drinking would help me avoid the withdrawal effects of extreme exhaustion and I took that up for a while until I needed to be able to go to work.
  • Then I began snorting ground up caffeine pills. 
  • It really wasn't that bad except the drip. 
  • Very bitter. 
  • Then yesterday came.  
  • I had done a lot of digging around on the internet and learned of a new way to get high that I had never tried.
  • Robitussin.
  • For some smart reason I thought I would have a high tolerance to it so I not only drank the whole bottle before work, I also took 20 of the liquid gel capsules. 
  • An absolutely terrible idea. 
  • Mix being shit-faced with a very bad trip and that's what I got. 
  • I went to sleep around 11:30pm last night and didn't wake up until 2:03pm today only from my manager calling me.
  • I had work at 2 and overslept. 


I just need to get back to controlling my life.
I feel bad because I will continue to have this extreme lack of motivation and exhaustion until my body can adjust.
I won't be able to see my friends at night or stay out late until I can get this fixed.
I'm sorry guys, I gotta take some time to stabilize my life.

Rules.

  • Syd has my 25 pills left from this prescription. 
  • She needs them until her's is filled, then she'll have about 5-10. 
  • She will hold on to them and if I feel I can handle it I will get one from her each day. 
  • I cannot have one if it is past 5pm no matter what, sleep is most important. 
  • I cannot have more than one no matter what, one pill should always be enough.
  • If I feel under control when my next prescription comes out then I will put 2-5 vyvanse in a bottle and keep that, Syd will refill it when I run out. 
  • Sleep is absolutely important, that's why I cannot stay out late for now. 
  • I need to eat right in hopes that it will give me energy that I need.
This journal is one way for me to track my progress and help motivate me.
I really need all the help I get because once tomorrow starts I don't know what will happen..
~Wish Me Luck~
-Prysm

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